Derailed thoughts...

I know it's been a while kids, I just wanted to let you all know that I have moved! New blog at http://taniaswords.wordpress.com/

What is it about boys? It seems to be in the air that boys lately are being dumb. I can't tell you how many friends I have who have been like, "what the heck?" in some boy-related incident. In my case I can't tell if I am just sensitive because I am hormonal, or if Dan is really being a butt. I think it might be a combo of the two. I called him at lunch today kind of freaking out about the taxes and we had a short conversation. After I felt bad and called to say, "hey I'm sorry I freaked out, I don't know what got into me." It was my lunch break and he was at home, so I tried to chat with him for a little bit. I don't see him at all since he is working 4-12 right now, and we never get to talk since I am asleep when he comes in. You could tell though, he wanted nothing to do with talking to me and just wanted to "relax" before work. So sorry I interrupted your vital gaming time because I miss you. WOw that was such a girlie thing to say. :D

ON a completely different tangent, I could not sleep last night. And so, in order to keep myself entertained, I started thinking- dangerous, I know.

I was thinking yesterday about the saying "Everything happens for a reason." I've never been a big believer in that. I don't think that things happen in order for something good or better to happen. I think that things happen, and the quality and strength of our personal will can make something good out of a bad situation, or be able to grow and recognize what good came out of a situation.

Does that make any sense? This kind of goes along with my no regrets policy. Which is hard to do. Usually when I find myself regretting something, I try and look at where I am in my life and how each thing was a stepping stone to where I am. Sometimes that is hard. There are a few things I struggle with all the time, and have to remind myself that although I'll never know what might have happened if things were different, would I really be willing to give up where I am and who I am now?

Totally random thing to think about, but it came as I was lying in bed, totally awake last night. I was remembering my sisters wedding and how one of her college friends was there. When my sister was in college and I was in high school, I went to visit her a few times. At her wedding, her friend made a comment about how different, how much more sure of myself and centered I am than I was back then.

Its funny how we make changes and grow into ourselves and take it for granted. Well maybe not take for granted, but don't really think about in the long run. When I sit and think, I know how much I've changed. I can even pinpoint when it happened and why. But a personality and a sense of self is such a fluid thing, that it change and growth can happen and later things seem as though they have always just been that way.

I do know that the two biggest influences in what I see as really positive changes in my sense of self, self worth, and ...I don't know...being, can be attributed to when I met and began to date Dan, and to three friends I made in college. These four people- they changed me and my life in such positive ways and I doubt that I ever take the time to think about this or be truly thankful to them. NOt that everyone in my life, my friends and family, haven't had a part in making me who I am.

More that I remember, clearly, how much I changed and really came into my own after meeting Dan, Emily, Roz and Lorraine. So, for that, Thanks you guys, and much love.

Wow that was a whole lot of nothing to do with anything...yeah go me. I am so random.

Have a good wednesday!!

It pours!

After having a great day on Friday (great meaning no headache), I woke up Saturday with a pounding migraine that just took me out. I finally gave in and took the Tylenol-3 I had been perscribed. It made me feel more relaxed and calm, but I still had the headache. In fact I had it up until yesterday at about 9 pm. I didn't get ANYTHING done over the weekend. Yesterday I should have called into work, because I was in a lot of pain and just out of it. But Mondays are really busy and I didn't want to leave anyone in the lurch. And we get charged double time for calling in sick Monday or Friday.

Anyway, I finally called the doctor Monday morning because this sucker was not going away. I waited until 4 pm for them to call back and tell me they couldn't help me because I needed to see my PCP. Of course. So I call my PCP and they don't call back until 7pm to tell me to take a double dose of the Tylenol 3. Ok, I could have done that in the morning! Sigh.

Added to which, I hit my head twice on really sharp corner cabinets yesterday and when I got home the house was a wreck. THis is after going to my mothers and cleaning up her house and helping her shower. So I start cleaning my house and making a huge batch of spaghetti for lunches for this week. I didn't eat until around 9 pm at which time my headache miraculously went away on its own.

Then, to cap off the night, I lost a contact. I wear hard contacts, so for a few days at least, I have no other alternative but glasses, and I can't really see in them. So although my migraine is gone, I have an eyestrain headache, LOL.

I am like my own comedy of errors. But at least the migraine is gone and I have lunch. And Dan has lunch. Oh and he finally got his permanent shift- he isn't thrilled about the location, but it is the 6-2pm shift, which is the best (in my humble opinion, since I like seeing my husband)! I am excited about that. Now we can take the birthing classes and all without worry. Yay.

Have a nice day!

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
- The gas bill. It is so freaking high!!

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
- Olive Garden when Dan came home. Or Bennigans because I am having a secret romance with their Baked Potato Soup.

4. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
- Loving someone who treated me badly.

5.What do you want to be doing right now?
- swimming, sleeping, eating.

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
A forensic Pathologist.
.
8. How many colleges did you attend?
-One. The best.

9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
-It was clean.

10. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
-Sighhhhhhhhh. I want a hybrid. I love our mother earth.

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you where would it be?
- I would take Dan and the kittens to New York.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
- It didn't go off. I specifically remember asking Dan, "hey is my alarm turned on?" and Dan answering "yep." But it wasn't.

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
- Ouch. This canker sore really hurts.

14. Do you miss being a child?
- Not really. I prefer having control over my life.

16. What errand/chore do you despise?
- Grocery shopping. Folding the Laundry.

17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
- Yes!!

18. Get up early or sleep in?
Sleep in if I can.

19. What is your favorite cartoon character?
- Um...Doug? Not really into cartoons.

20. Favorite thing to do at night?
- Snuggle in bed and read a book.

21. Have you found real love yet?
-Yes

22. When did you first start feeling old?
- ::grins:: Very Recently.

24. Your favorite lunch meat?
- Turkey. Although that sounds pretty gross right now.

25. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart?
- i dont do wal-mart

26. Beach or lake?
- Beach.

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
-No. I like it.

28. Do you own property?
- Well. Like Lori said, the bank owns it, I just pay the mortgage.

29. Favorite Guilty pleasure?
Newsies.

30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
- Newsies (LOL)

31. What's your drink?
- Diet Coke

32. Cowboys or Indians?
- Cowboys

33. Cops or Robbers?
- Cops

34. Who from high school would you like to run in to?
- Lauren Fath (who is married now, but I can't remember her new name), and Timary Worthy

35. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
- 88.7, otherwise known at 89X

36. Norm or Cliff?
- HUH?

37. Grey's or The Office?
-Grey's

38. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
- Like I said, loving someone who treated me badly.

39. Do you like the person that sits directly across from you at work?
- I sit all by myself surrounded by empty cubicles. Everyone else is behind me in a separate section.

40. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
- Kasey Khane. mmmmmmm.

41. Indoors or Outdoors?
- Out

42. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
- No matter what Lori says, IT WASN'T MY FAULT.

43. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
- nope.

44. Last book you read?
- Where the Heart Is, by Billie Letts

45. Do you have a teddy bear?
- Fuzzy!!!

46. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
- I don't know.

47. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
- Eh, nowhere really.

48. Do you go to church?
- not so much.

49. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
- I would really like to start a new career. Please.

50. How old are you?
- 26

Today, oh today. Has not been a great day. Aside from the utter boredom (conference on improved sales technique for my company), I have been filled with a sense of utter and overwhelming anxiousness.

Of course, those of you who know me, realize, I have lots to be anxious about. But the funny thing is that these aren’t the reasons why I feel so jittery.

I don’t think.

I think I am ok with changes, even large, life altering ones.

But why do the little things surprise/shock/hurt me so much?

Long and short, I feel overwhelemed, unimportant, unsure and all that ugly ball of wax. I don’t know if I am crazy, or if I am reading situations correctly. I can’t even tell if it was worth my time.

And most of all, I am just sad. Really really sad.

What a day.

Yesterday the news was forecasting some major-crazy-killer storm that was marching our way. Snow, Ice, Wind. It felt like Armageddon.

Woke up this morning to a huge...3" of snow.

Seriously? Come on.

The entire state got a snow day for 3" of snow? Where were the other 3-6 inches they were telling us we were going to get? Not around here, that is for sure.

Of course, being the freak I am, this disappoints me. I love snow in large quantities. LOVE IT. Despite the fact that I don't get snow days (and yes, the roads were terrible this morning, which I don't get either. They thought a billion inches were coming, but they couldn't plow 3?). I called Max and Erma's to see if maybe I didn't have to come in, since it is going to be slow due to impending Armageddon (which I am now sure is never coming), but it turns out most employees didn't make it to the restaurant today due to the snow.

Seriously? Do you people live in Michigan? It was only 3 freaking inches! Man up you guys!!

Of course, this means I have to work.

I am grumpy, sleepy, exceedingly cold, hungry, and in general about a nano- second from quitting there anyway, as it is terribly run, very stressful, and overall not worth the extra 200-300$ a month I make there. There are days when I would rather not have spending money than work there.

Of course, responsible Tania would never allow me to not go to work just because I don't feel like it. Sigh.

Have a great weekend!

So...following the advice of my mother-in-law, who is totally fabulous, I request a detailed account breakdown from my mortgage company. After the initial fiasco happened, I tried to just get past the whole thing, rebudget for the next six months, and tighten the ship, so to speak, to make up for the additional 600+ $ they took from us. But I won't lie, I was pretty stressed out.

Looking at my sparkling new account breakdown, I am immediately confused. The woman I spoke to had told me that the mistake happened when they miscalculated my taxes when they set up my escrow (the whole, .96 cents a year fiasco). Clear as day, in front of my face I can see that we did indeed pay a hefty little sum into our escrow account for taxes when we opened the loan. WTF? What was she talking about. I can also, clear as day, see that we have been paying into said escrow account every month since then, and that we have plenty in there at this moment, and even before they took that CRAZY huge payment. So what is that about? I am getting more upset and once again, REALLY angry.

So I do a bit more research, and long story short, they were estimating what our homeowners insurance was going to be. We don't escrow our homeowners, so yeah, of course there was a shortage in the account if they were expecting to pay that!

So, I call the friendly Countrywide ladies, who once again are super nice despite the fact that I am pretty upset. The wonderful woman I spoke with fixed everything for me! Not only to I get a huge check back, but my mort payment is actually lower! By the end of the conversation we were laughing and chatting like old friends.

Whew! What a load off my mind. I have been secretly, inwardly, freaking out about this whole money situation. Thank goodness.

Yeah, so not much to report today. I've been busy enough at work that I forgot to eat breakfast again (darnit!), so I was STARVING by the time lunch came around. I am trying to retrain myself to eat smaller meals, more frequently, since my body seems to like that better. I am having a hard time finding food that I can eat at my desk, which is where I spend most of my time.

Otherwise, the most exciting thing to happen this week was yesterday's debacle with the car. Dan and I exchange cars every day, as we have a one-lane driveway, and I always come home after him. Yesterday I was driving the Vue, which Dan had driven the day before. I get the snow off the car, hop in, and try to warm up (Not realizing it had snowed, I really wasn't wearing snow appropos boots, and no socks underneath no less!) I am fighting with the CD player and the heat and therefore don't see that my gas light is on. Which normally, would be ok. We get 19-26MPG in our Vue. No joke, I didn't even make it a mile before the car ran out of gas! Thereby forcing me to wait in said freezing car (which hadn't warmed up yet) for an hour while my Chicken Lovey (Maura) rescued me with some gas.

It was 23 degrees outside, my feet were all ready numb, and in an effort to avoid getting killed on Orchard Lake Road, I was standing in a freezing cold puddle of snow/ice trying to get gas into my car. Some gas in the car, yes. A lot of gas on me, as well. All over my gloves, which were soaked and freezing my fingers off, since it took so long to get gas into the car. I replaced my gloves with another pair which was not covered in gasoline, ruining that pair in the process as my fingers still reeked of gas. I then ran to the nearest gas station, and put at much gas as I could in the car without losing a toe to frostbite. I couldn't go home and change out of my gas covered clothes because I was already at least 30 min late for work. Sigh.

Props to my Chicken Lovey for the rescue!

So that was my adventure for the day. Other than voting, which I love doing. Gives me a warm glow of pride and the feeling of civic responisbility only a nerd would understand :D

Capped off the evening with an AWESOME dinner made by Dan, who also did the dishes (what a sweetie!), and a phat trip to Meijer where I dominated the budget-keeping and sale-finding (thanks again to the lovley Chicken Lovey.)

Getting geared up for tomorrow’s primary. Despite the fact that my politics are polar opposite from my coworkers, I appreciate the fact that everyone here seems to care and has an opinion. Even if it is an opinion I completely disagree with. I think that is one of the beauties of this country.

I really want to encourage everyone who comes across this (all seven of you :D) to go out and vote. I know (as my husband has expressed this to me) that many people don’t think the primary is that important, or don’t know yet who they would want to vote for. To this I’d say:

How often do you hear other speak of their dissatisfaction with X or Y (economy, education, immigration, the War in Iraq, etc.)? Heard the statement, “I didn’t vote in 2004 because I didn’t like either candidate?” Our right to vote is not limited to the Presidential Election. Almost everyone I know has an opinion regarding local or national politics, but don’t trust that they know enough to vote, or don’t trust that their vote matters. And it does.

I have to admit to a certain amount of frustration with the relaxed attitudes of many people I know in regards to politics. Your vote protects your rights. So use it.

I know that many people feel confused, or are overwhelmed. Too many candidates, too many issues, where to even begin? How do I know who I can trust, and now, with the primaries upon us, how will I ever figure it out in time?

We are so extraordinarily lucky to be living in this day and age, where we have the freedom to access information, and the means to do so. And at little cost, and in no time.

But why should you care about the primary, which has been criticized for not accurately representing the United States as a whole (primaries in states such as Mississippi, which come far into summer, at which point in time, candidates are already running unopposed)? For that reason. I happen to know, having lived here over 13 years, that Michigan is extraordinarily diverse, economically and ethnically. I would love to see a great voter turn out from more than just the expected white middle class bracket.

For my fellow Michiganders, in case you haven’t been following election news: Should you turn up at your local voting locale and notice that some front runner candidates on the Democratic ticket aren’t listed, do not panic. Hoping to become one of the more relevant states in the primary process, Michigan moved its primary up, despite warnings from the DNC (Democratic National Convention), who then stripped us of our delegates and urged frontrunner candidates to pull off the ballot. With only Hillary represented, Democrats are left with little choices. Those who do not want to vote for Hillary are urged to vote “uncommitted” rather than write in.

My advice? Think about what matters to you. Immigration? Education? The state of our economy? I would advise that you start there.

Others might say different, but I have never been a straight up Republican or Democrat. I’ve tried to always vote based on what I think is important, and where I would like to see some changes. What worries me the most, what isn’t as important, in my opinion. I then look at all of my options and work from there.

So what are your options? Here are some linksà
1) While I don’t always trust Wikipedia, I find it to be a good starting point when I am researching anything. Here you’ll find a list of candidates, links to the debates and much more. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._presidential_primary
2) Still unsure about what is important to you? Take this short quiz and find out: http://www.wqad.com/Global/link.asp?L=259460 . Be warned however, that many of these issues are summarized to make the quiz easier. The quiz will give you a list of candidates with whom you have the most in common. It will also link you to their websites and further information. Do some research. You might find that you actually agree with a candidate despite the quizzes assessment.

One last note- our generation has been accused of not acting, not caring, and being disinterested. I don’t think that is the case. Please don’t take for granted the rights you have been given, by men and women who have fought and died to guarantee them for you.

Yesterday morning, randomly, I decided to check my bank account online. Was disturbed to see a HUGE debit pending. I don't recal spending so much money, or any bill that high. Called the bank in a panic, only to be assured that it was my mortgage pmt. WTF?? That is WAY higher than my mort. pmt.

I call Countrywide. I am upset, but still calm and rational. Am told that it went up due to my winter taxes. I am more upset. Don't they inform you in some way when your bill goes up over 700$??!? At all? I am assured that they do. The nice lady I am talking to goes to look up the history of transaction on my account...all I hear is a very quiet "oh no." Hmmm... They never contacted me. In fact, they stopped sending me statements when I signed up for auto pay two months ago (you'd think I would have noticed, but the holidays have me all mixed up). Ok, I am a bit more upset. Then I ask, how on earth my taxes come out to 8400$ just for the winter. Another quiet "Oh, no." Because it turns out that the title company, when estimating taxes for escrow, estimated my total yearly taxes at .96 cents.

WFT. WFT. WFT?!?! I am A LOT more upset at this point. Like, having a hard time using my voice, upset. I realize it isn't the fault of the very sweet woman I am talking to, so I speak calmly. I have never before been so upset that I actually was hoarse, but I was this morning. I ask her if humans, actual human beings, don't check the paperwork before it gets sent through. I am positive that a human would have noticed and thought, "gee, that's strange, taxes are usually more than .96 cents." she tells me that yes, this seems strange. She looks into it further, illiciting another quiet "oh,no."

What now!?! Oh, well when they got my tax bill, back in December, recognized the escrow shortage (since they only collected .96, they didn't have enough to pay out for this year, much less next year) they double billed to collect for next year. Hence the additional 8400$ for the year- since they estimated my winter taxes at around $4000. But, of course, this was wrong, my winter taxes were only around $660. The "oh, no" came in because although there was a note that this was wrong, no one actually changed this on my policy or whatever. So I was still billed and charged as if I owed $4000+

Ok, at this point, I have, literally, tears of anger in my eyes. Not upset tears, not wimpy crying tears, rage tears. I understand that this poor woman is not at all at fault, so I apologize for seeming upset, but I have to ask- How on earth does Countrywide manage to do business when it is possible to not only make ONE of the following mistakes, but ALL of the following mistakes? Esp without ever contacting the customer in any way. Because they have no policy that changes in the amount billed necessitate customer contact. Seriously?

And of course, there is nothing the nice woman can actually do for me. I've alread accidentally paid my taxes in one lump sum, so you'd think that my bill would go down, but since they were never billing me for my escrowed taxes in the first place, it is actually going up about 40$ from the origional amount, so that they can pay my taxes next year. She apologizes if it caused my account to bounce. Luckily, I am anal and keep a nice buffer in my checking account at all times, but my bills all come out at the begining of the month. With the holiday just over, money is TIGHT, and if I hadn't checked, I would have bounced by the end of the week.

ERG. Still mad. Sigh.

I'll try to do this dream justice, but it was quite a few days ago, so things have become understandably murky. It was one of those very vivid and intense dreams that stays with you, long after you have woken up. It was also one of those dreams that goes on and on, with different parts mingling into one another and interconnecting as you move from one moment to the next.

Where the dream started I am not sure, I only remember when things became extraordinarily clear. I was being pursued by a monster. He was human- I knew him in my dream. A big man, over 6'5 and hugely muscled. Whoever he was, he thrived on pain and suffering. He had many victims, but it was me in particular that he wanted. He had been pursuing me for a long time, and in my dream, we were only moments apart. I was doing all I could to escape him and outwit him. Whenever I did, managing to break free of his grasp or hide just as he was about to find me, he would find another victim. He knew I was there, watching as he killed and maimed, hurt and tortured other women, women who were not me. I felt tremendous amounts of guilt for this, but my survival instinct was much to strong- I couldn't not run away.

Here is where the dream became more liquid and unreal- In our final pursuit, I escaped narrowly, ducking into the doorway of a grey, non-descript building. When I emerged, I found myself on a large hill, covered in a dense low lying fog which covered the ground. I was in a completely silent and empty world. I knew what I was seeing wasn't fog, but the ocean. The ocean but not the ocean. I knew that it had been designed my another woman who had been there before. From the air I could see how clearly its boundaries were defined, a dense, soupy fog writhing against invisible barriers she had placed there. It was a grey, murky, almost living being. I knew she had left it unfinished, it was mine to complete.

The monster was still there, searching for me, but I could not leave until I had finished what she had started. I started to trace the edge of the fog, laying against the grass, cold against the bare skin of my arms. I had to create the other half of this fog, a new, white fog, coloured into the boundaries of hers with my fingers. I couldn't figure out how to do it, and frustrated I kept tracing the edges of the fog with my fingers, microscopic lines of white falling from them to the ground.

Suddenly, I knew. It wasn't that I became smaller, or that the fog became bigger, it was that I became a part of every thing, all the pulsing atoms and air movements, and from the grey sky, a white fog began to fall like rain and snow, and I was in it, completely surrounded by this beautiful and silent fog. I knew then, that it was complete, and the fog wasn't a fog at all, but an ocean, living and breathing. Real. It followed me, snaking around my feet, down a dune of sand, rippled by the wind. I had to outrun it as it grew and formed. Carefully, I followed the signs of the sea, driftwood bleached and worn, embedded in the sand in the forms of hands and arrows. As I ran, I looked to the horizon and saw a stand of trees, gnarled and sepia coloured. At once they were so much more real than I, and not at all of my world. I knew things would never be the same.

Suddenly, I was back in my world, at MSU, still attempting to outrun the monster....on and on, through supermarkets and buildings, as I kept running and he kept murdering and maiming....

Some funny/I'm really lucky stuff from this morning

I woke up feeling pretty crappy, stumbled into the shower, and was very grumpily shampooing when I heard an explosion. An EXPLOSION, I kid you not.

In my soapy and befuddled state, the first thought that ran through my head was, "Damnit, what did the cats do?" (Yes, I was fully prepared to blame a GIANT booming noise on my two seven pound cats.) Still covered in soap, I went tearing out of the bathroom , barely covered by a towel, to find said cats lounging comfortably on my bed.

Intelligent as always, I then assume I imagined the explosion, and went back to finish my shower.

Not until I left my home and saw assorted fire trucks and police cars surrounding the electric service station by my home did it dawn on me that a) usually four legged animals which weigh less than 10lb, and do not have opposable thumbs, don't cause explosions and b) If you hear something exploding, its because SOMETHING IS EXPLODING.

So why am I lucky? Everyone in my area lost power except for my house and a few others. Yay!!!

With only fifteen minutes left in the day, I am compelled to blog. However, I really don't know that I have anything terribly interesting to say. After my last blog (the whiney one), I was lucky enough to get sent home from Max and Erma's because it was so slow. Who knew that being a big baby would result in cosmic rewards?

Pilar and Brad got possesion of their new house one week early, so I got to go and help them instead of putting orders together and yelling at insanely dumb servers (gosh, this new group really is something special, if you know what I mean). Pilar also dragged me to IKEA on Sunday, where I found some great storage solutions for my tiny bathroom. Pending Dan-The-Man's approval of course.

Yes, Dan will be home soon- Friday to be exact. I am hopping to have the Christmas decorations all set before he does. Which means I need to shake a tail feather (yes, I absolutely just said that) when I get home today and get stuff cleaned and organized. My mother in law, who rules, is giving us their old tree. This will be the first year Dan and I have had a tree. This makes me happy.

Last week, I managed a good two or three days of complete productivity, a feat I am hoping to improve on this week. We shall see, eh?

I am not sure why I feel compelled to work myself to death. Well, maybe not to death. A lot. A lot. A lot.

I find myself quite often, at home, utterly tired, realizing that I haven't had a day off in weeks. WEEKS. Between my jobs, and my genetic predisposition toward workaholism, I'll be dead before I am thirty. Well, maybe not thirty.

Still. For someone who dislikes one of their jobs so much, I am here an awful lot. Which probably makes it worse. The prospect of going to work at the restaurant tonight, to be followed by a day off of...moving my sister into her new house...to be followed by a Sunday in which I must come back to Nationwide for comp time and to clean the office, and then to go Max and Erma's and work a night shift....is tiring.

But if I don't do it, I am completely bored. Well, I am bored right now, or I wouldn't be on LJ in the first place. But sitting at home bored is worse than at work bored and earning money.

I realize I was very unhappy at Max and Erma's when I left. I didn't get along with my GM, which made it pretty hard to be the GM's right hand...person. But I did love working at the restaurant, and I did love the people I worked with. That is why I am still there- it isn't like the additional 100$ a month is necessary to our financial survival. There are times when it is tempting to go back, because it is comfortable and I like it there.

But I don't want to settle. I want to find something I like and am good at. I just don't want to have to stay at Nationwide until I do. Sigh. Job angst. What could be worse? Boy angst. Good thing I got rid of that ;)

At least Dan will be home soon. I'll have incentive to be home more often.

I woke up this morning very grumpy, sore, and sleepy. Had a very random muscle spasm yesterday that kept poking its ugly head into my business. Hence, slept poorly. Better than the night before, in which I was plagued by strange dreams about hollow trees and weddings, secret doorways and a faceless stranger who I was supposed to know.

Fortunately, happiness ensued when I walked out of my house to find that it had snowed. I love the way the air feels after it snows. Sill and soft, as if it is full of secrets, whispered in the wind. But you have to listen extra hard, or you won't hear them.

Well, sadly, I had no time play in the snow, but instead finally (FINALLY!) dropped off my dry cleaning. Yesterday I did some Christmas shopping. I also grocery shopped (yay, I have food again!), and watched the Biggest Loser. I have similar and equally exciting plans for acomplishing many things tonight, including getting exercise, which I have been terrible at latley.

Today is shaping up pretty well. Snow in the morning, sushi for lunch, and more Christmas shopping after work. If only I wasn't at work here, everything would be peachy keen.

Sadly, my lunch break is over. I'd love to linger and chat more, but I have to resume battle with my Agent Gateway Marketing Link. This might end badly.

Some how, today at work, myself and several co workers got involved in a debate about Camels and their natural predators. I had mentioned the episode of Man Vs. Wild where the guy crawls into the body of a dead camel while in the desert in order to keep warm during the night. This somehow sparked a debate about the relative saftey of using a camel as refuge against wild animals.

One woman I work with stated that this seemed like a great way to get attacked by a lion. I claimed that lions live in the savannah and that camels live in the desert. A gentleman we work with wondered if there were camels in the savannah. I stated that I think human's are a camels biggest predator.

Finally our boss googled the answer. This is how into our conversation we were. Turns out I was right, mostly. There is a breed of camel that lives in the savannah, which is hunted by tigers. Or something. But the desert camel really only has to fear humans. So I won.

Sadly, this was the most exciting thing to happen at my job in weeks. Oh, excluding cupcake-fest 2007, in which I ate two cupcakes in one day. That was cool too.

Because Abbs has totally inspired me to stop being lazy, and since I have more time on my hands now that NaNo is done, today I have decided that I need to X-mas Shop, drop off dry cleaning, grocery shop, clean my kitchen and bathroom, and decorate for Christmas. I am hoping that if I get half of that done before bed time, I will be happy.

For those who have been asking (Tania #2), I will be sharing my book in a bit, and as soon as I have a better idea of some plot elements, I will be sharing what the story is about.

Have a wonderful day ladies!!

Yes I have been gone for the month of November. Because I was doing this little thing called NaNo.

Yes, I am one of the absolutely crazy people who signed up to write a 50,000 word novel in 30days. And I did! As of today at 2pm, I had written 50028 words. Yay me.

But...my story isn't close to being done. At all. For a moment, I was a bit panicked. What if I never finish it? What if NaNo burned me out on this story completely? This is my first novel...I am a little attached to it :)

So, here I am, adding to my insanity- I have signed up for NaNoFiMo, which is National Novel Finishing Month. A more sedately paced challenge of 30,000 the goal is to finish your novel- as in actually get the ending in.

Well, I write out of order so I pretty much have that down. Another 30,000? We will see how that goes. But I am game for a try. After that, provided rumor's of its existence are not faulty, I am off for NaNoEdMo...National Novel Editing Month. Luckily, there is a break between the two, as NaNoEdMo won't start until March. Whew!

Well, I am off to rest my brain, and eyes!

On St. Simon’s Island, the tide has let out- everywhere we go the water levels are remarkably low. Looking waterwards, large expanses of smoothed sand are exposed. Basins of water, reminiscent of tidal pools, only empty, lay scattered. There is nothing to be seen here, but smooth and pockmarked sand. The occasional jellyfish, clear and rust colored, still pulsing, gritty and wet. It is very like a wet desert, the memory of water like a fingerprint, and impression made, fleetingly gone. Landways, the Georgia brush scruffs the beach edges, resilient greens and mangy browns lurching erratically. Warmer than Michigan, it is still surprisingly cold. There are few people here. A woman with a mottled dog playing fetch, a large family disbursing Christmas gifts out of a kayak on the beach. A gaggle of toddlers run up the boardwalk, screeching and laughing.

Guess who has officially signed up for the National Novel Writing Month...Me! That's right, I have officially committed to writing a 50000 word Novel, to be completed the day before my birthday. I can't think of a better present to give myself. My own novel. Whoooopeee!

Anyone else care to join in the fun? Apperantly it doesn't matter if you don't have a story or cannot write. The point is to have fun, to have a life changing experience, and be a part of a creative community!

So, come on over...www.nanowrimo.org!

am having the worst two days EVER. seriously.

My keys (house, car, and office) mysteriously disappeared off of my work desk yesterday. They aren't in my car, which I drove to work, because it is impossible to lock them in- you have to lock the car from the outside.

No one at work has them. But I still needed to get home. So a woman at work took me to Max and Erma's, where my roomie works, and I borrowed her car to get home and get my spare. I couldn't find my spare, so I called D. Lo and behold, he has the spare. In Georgia.

Ok. I call Saturn, to have them cut me a new key. But they need my registration and insurance. My registration is in my car.

I call a tow truck to come break into my car (still driving my roomies car) and wait at my office for the tow truck guy. I tell them they have to be there before 8:15 because Saturn closes at 9.

At 8:10 the tow truck guy calls. His tow truck broke down.

Seriously?

Ok, so I go back to Max and Ermas, and by now, I am crying like a looser. I wait around at Max and Ermas for roomie to be done with work so I can go home. My friend T makes me dinner and lets me stand by the grill because I am so cold my whole body is shaking.

Enter fanfare and trumpets, my lovley friend MO (sometimes known as Val around here) shows up on a white horse and rescues me, takes me home and cheers me up.

This morning, the roomie takes me to work- the tow truck guy is coming at ten to open my car, and will charge me less because he f--ed up yesterday.

Then my roomie calls. She locked her house key into my house. I of course, lost my house key with all the rest.

Seriously?

Now I have to leave work early to meet a locksmith to break into my house. Then go to Saturn and have the guy cut me a key.

I wonder how much this fiasco is going to cost me.